if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Less talking, more tequila
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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