After last night, I could never be a politician.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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