And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
