so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
