I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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