he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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