I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
