Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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