This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
