I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
