Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I want to have your abortion
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
