I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
