Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
