HIV tests are more positive than that guy
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
