Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
