so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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