I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
