If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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