Just fell off a train. Bad.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
