im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We were destined to go to rehab together
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
