guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
