If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
