Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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