I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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