I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
