Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize