KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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