He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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