I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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