Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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