Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
