Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
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