It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
