I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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