I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
