You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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