like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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