A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
