What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
