i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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