so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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