He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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