If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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