I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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