Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
