ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
