New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize