I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
