butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
