Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
