A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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