I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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