Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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