Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Randomize
