don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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