Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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