All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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