Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
