brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
